The Treadmill Follies

If you know me, you know how I feel about treadmills. My dislike for them is well-documented. This week, with the frigid temperatures/wind/ice continuing, I called “uncle” and hopped on a treadmill a couple of times at the local YMCA. I figured the treadmill would be “safer.” The last time I was on a treadmill was over four years ago, so perhaps my “treadmill brain” is a bit rusty or slow. Today, I had a mishap which only validated: 1) I’m not that smart, and 2) Yes, I do indeed hate the treadmill.  

Ironically,I was having a great run up until “the moment.”
I was banging out sub 7 minute miles and the “rolling hills” option was
at 6% grade at “the moment.”  I was
working hard, but relaxed. Perhaps “relaxing” on a treadmill is unwise. This, combined with the following, was not a
good combination…

Yes, I was running with music today.  I
don’t run with music anymore; however, on the treadmill, I need to be
distracted from my boredom. So, yes, I
ran with music.  In my “relaxed” state, I
was singing to myself, and, at times, air drumming.  Yes, I probably deserved what happened next.

As Joker and
the Thief
by Wolfmother jammed in my ears, my left hand caught the wire from my
headphones, yanking them out of my ears, and taking the cell phone along with them…taking
the device right off the treadmill. This is when I looked down to see where
everything went. I stopped running, and when you stop running on a treadmill,
bad things happen.  

I don’t
remember much, aside from a bounce and the subsequent belt burns. The best part was the fact that my wife was
on the treadmill next to me, so she had a front row ticket to this mayhem.  Fortunately, my distracting activity did not
impact her own safety.  

After I
realized nothing catastrophic had occurred to my body, I finished my run
(without music and with more humility).  

I sincerely
hope no video of this surfaces on Youtube someday; however, if it does, enjoy
the fruits of my stupidity and klutziness.


Ouchy elbow

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